Many dust bunnies died yesterday in the Hanson household. Innocent and guilty alike, it was a merciless, all-out slaughter. There remains little evidence at the scene as the area has already been completely cleaned.
The dust bunny population had simply grown too large, say the Hansons. “As long as they were quiet and stayed in the dark, we’d grown fairly comfortable with sharing the space. But then they became too bold, too brazen.”
Dustbunny Sprite - with apologies to Mr. Miyazaki's soot sprites
Apparently the quiet housemates were no longer content to live in the shadows. “They didn’t stay in the corners and under the bed as they used to… we’d open up a window and they’d just come strolling out across the floor, openly and with no shame. Or they’d ride up a sunbeam onto the kitchen counter to ask when dinner would be ready. Seriously. Something had to be done.”
The Hansons deployed several implements of destruction in their impromptu extermination. “It wasn’t planned. It just happened. I guess we’d had enough.” Primary tools included a broom, dustpan, and vacuum. “Basically lots and lots of vacuuming. I sort of started vacuuming, and just didn’t stop,” says Mrs. Hanson. A bucket and mop were later utilized to clear the evidence. “A pretty thorough job. All in all I’m pretty pleased with our Saturday.”
In another part of the house, Mr. Hanson sorted through seven year’s worth of boxes full of books, figures, and knick-knacks from previous residences and places of employment, suspected to be dust bunny breeding grounds. An extermination of this scale has not been seen in this house since… “Ever?” says Mr. Hanson. “It was time.” Floors, carpets, tile, countertops, windowsills, bookcases, shelves, the Hansons missed nothing.
“Well, actually we didn’t make it into the bedroom, and the bathrooms were a bit cursory,” clarified Mrs. Hanson. “We sort of lost steam after the sun went down. But we’ll get the rest next weekend. Anyone hiding under the bed had better go ahead and make their peace.”
The vacuum is put away for now and the mop hung to dry, but the Hansons promise it’s not over. “And the cobs laughing in their webs had better look out,” they warned. “We just didn’t see them yesterday, but they’re next.”
